Hey hey blog. It's late as fuck on a Sunday night/Monday morning. My favorite time of day to be deeply self concious about how I'm feeling. Jokes aside I guess I just wanted to write a blog entry following up on the previous one a little. I didn't really explain what any of that was about because I didn't feel like I could. Wrote it in kind of a bad headspace, deleted most of it.

But yeah! Doing marginally better now. My life for a bit has kind of been lots of worrying about my health. The long and the short of it is that I'm experiencing hypertension! Fun! Doctors think it's stress related. I choose to believe it because I don't really have a better option than to do so. I'm medicated for it, and over the last few months now I've been trying to manage my anxiety over my health. I've dieted aggressively, lost like 30 pounds or something, gotten outside more, the whole nine yards. Real winner kind of attitude.

The result? Not much. My blood pressure is still high, maybe marginally better than it was most days. My heart rate is usually on the lower end for a healthy resting heart rate now, it still jumps up but that's normal. Most of my experience has been convincing myself that I am in fact, Not Dying (refer to previous blog post title). The stress has been rough, but I've learned to manage my anxiety better through this, and keep more mellow even when something isn't exactly how I want it to be. If I focus on breathing and relaxing, I can even get my blood pressure down to a healthy number, that probably counts for something.

But yeah, all this has really fucked with me, it's thrown a real wrench in my day to day activities. I'd say it's getting better at least. I've also started amassing the tools for an incredible comeback (lie). But really, I've got a new microphone that can do stereo audio, sounds better, a new GPU to better run games and shit. If/when I get back to streaming that shit should be crisp. With any luck at least. But For now I'm not planning to do it, the idea of performing still stresses me out I think. But once I'm confident in my health, I think I'd like to? Time will tell I suppose.

Mostly I've just been trying to enjoy myself, relax, take it a day at a time. I've been hanging out with my friends more, watching cool shows. We're doing weekly watch parties of The Summer Hikaru Died, wicked show, gay as fuck. I've been watching quite a few shows about non-standard romantic relationships really. It's always interesting to see people write a not-so typical love story. Introducing elements of fantasy also gives writers lots of liberty to get graphic or at least implicative in ways that I don't think they could do so easily in a more standard setting. It's a lot of fun, I guess I'm saying I really liked it when Hikaru opened up his hole and his boyfriend reached into i-

It's true! I'm really not, and every day I struggle to believe it.

Originally I wrote several paragraphs,

After thinking about it for at least five minutes; I took the plunge earlier this week and started working on this website! I'm pretty pleased with it all things considered. I want to add onto it and redo some stuff, but with the addition of this blog section, it's mostly complete. That being said, this blog post is mostly just here to fill space, make sure my shit is working properly. The works.

Thanks for reading though! Hopefully I can keep working on this site and have more interesting things to read soon.